Yesterday I had a fairly positive day. The sun was shinning, blue skies overhead and my brain was clearer than of late. My girl had a hospital appointment in the morning and thankfully that went well and we have one less concern to worry about.
I didn’t do much walking yesterday really, decided to take it easier as my legs were feeling sore and tight. We had a quick coffee before heading home. I still felt pretty reasonable on the whole and headed to my GP late afternoon which also went pretty well.
Then evening came and I gradually went downhill. I started aching all over, head hurt, joints became clicky again and I felt tired. So after dinner I sat for while in the lounge then headed off to bed. By this time I was really feeling pretty unwell, shaky, headache and just not right. I managed to eventually drop off only to wake around 4am feeling pretty bad. My stomach didn’t feel good, my muscles hurt, my head hurt, I had discomfort in my chest and pains in my left arm. I was awake the rest of the night, mostly sat up in bed. This morning my stomach is not happy, my digestive system is gurgling and crampy and I’m tired from lack of sleep.
And that’s the reality of my days at the moment. They follow a pattern, at least right now they do.
1. Wake/get up. Legs are always sore and tight. Head is always in a fog. Often other limbs are aching or sore.
2. Gradually things improve through the morning. I feel better most days for the bulk of the day.
3. Late afternoon/evening arrives and I start to fade again and symptoms start returning.
4. Go to bed and have a truely restless and often emotionally fraught night full of all sorts of unpleasant issues.
Every day is a challenge, the constant symptoms chip away at your emotions. Sometimes it overwhelms me and I break down in tears other times I fight through and try to not get dragged into the gutter. How did I end up in this bloody mess!!!